jueves, 30 de mayo de 2013

Día 48: Temporada 4, Episodio 7 "The Better Man"


"It's gonna be okay! I know a place where the native girls abound! A paradise of young women all waiting to venture into adventure with a Dean Venture! Get your coat!"




Home brain surgery!!

Capítulo anterior:   "Self-Medication" 
Episodio: Temporada 4, Episodio 7
Escrito por: Doc Hammer
Fecha Original: 6 de Diciembre, 2009.
Debut de Personajes: The Outrider, Tatyana (más o menos).


Trama: Luego de un encuentro con el OutRider, el hombre que le robó a Orpheus su esposa y que demuestra poder atravesar mundos, literalmente superándolo en todo sentido, el Dr. está determinado a hacer lo mismo. Mientras tanto, Hank se lleva a Dean al mall para enseñarle a hablar con otras chicas. Finalmente, Triana tiene una charla con The Master, la cual cambiará su vida. 

Trivia Favorita: Me gusta cómo se creía que el OutRider estaba basado en Solomon Kane, y hasta coincide en varios aspectos, pero resulta ser sólo una coincidencia. Ah, y obviamente Cthulhu. (Más trivia en The Mantis Eye Project.)

Diálogo Favorito: Hace tiempo (un par de capítulos diría yo) que no estaba tentado a poner todo un guión aquí...


JEFFERSON TWILIGHT
Torrid a dick. Who does that? Who opens up hell, honestly?

DR. ORPHEUS
If Torrid gets the portal open we’re done for. Once the second-world comes through, we haven’t the power to stop them.

THE ALCHEMIST
I gotta be honest, I’m scared. I’m like a 9 scared. 9.3 maybe.

DR. ORPHEUS
We should all be at 10. There isn’t a sorcerer alive who has the ability to fight the denizen of the second-world. I’m a 10.

JEFFERSON TWILIGHT
If Orpheus is going Bo Derek then I'm pushing it up to 8.

DR. ORPHEUS
I admire your bravery. Now are you ready to wage our final battle?

THE ALCHEMIST
What? Hell no. I have one more thing to try. [Yells at Torrid] Stop being a pud. Knock it off you dimbat. Nobody wants you to open a door to hell.

[A large green creature comes out of the portal and reaches for Torrid]

TORRID
No, no. I command thee!
[It grabs Torrid and throws him inside the portal]

THE ALCHEMIST
Something just came out of the vortex and killed Torrid. So, that happen.

DR. ORPHEUS
The time is now. Triad join me. I am Dr. Orpheus, master of mysticism.

JEFFERSON TWILIGHT
I’m a...

THE ALCHEMIST
I don’t wanna do that introducing ourselves bit, it’s goofy. Lets not die being goofy.

JEFFERSON TWILIGHT
I’m with Al. Maybe we can sing a Stevie Wonder song together!

THE ALCHEMIST
Yeah, that’s not much better.
______________________

DEAN
Can I pet your pussy?

TRIANA 
[holding a cat] There is no irony in that, is there?

DEAN
[patting the cat] No, it's soft. [The cat screeches and runs away] Your pussy hates me!
__________________

DR. ORPHEUS
Tatyana, what are you doing here?

MASTER [as Tatyana] 
I was just sitting here thinking how glad I am that I left you for the OutRider, and how he does that thing you used to do with your mouth, but better because he can hold his breath longer.

DR. ORPHEUS
Oh... it is you. My Master.

MASTER [as Tatyana]
Duh, Orpheus. Now what’s all this cry-baby crap about. Aren’t you used to the OutRider making you look like a shnooke by now?

DR. ORPHEUS
He came out of a portal to the second-world. I have been training my whole life just to perceive that there is a second-world, and he can move between them. Tell me Master how can this be?

THE MASTER [as Tatyana] 
The love of a good woman can do wonders, Orpheus. I mean look at me, [Puts hands on breasts] and these are natural C cups. Aren’t they beautiful? I mean, you could bounce a penis off these!

DR. ORPHEUS
I doubt my ex-wife's breasts are the answer.

THE MASTER [as Tatyana] 
It doesn’t stop there; I’m sitting on what is easily the ass of a teenager. What does she do pilates or something? You can rest a coffee mug on it.

DR. ORPHEUS 
Really, she’s almost forty by now!

THE MASTER [as Tatyana] 
Well, you tell it to the heiny Orpheus, because it still thinks it's 1992.
__________________

DERMOTT
Do you dig this Tracy girl or what?

DEAN
Well, she seems nice, and her hair is really pretty.

DERMOTT
Well, talk to her, then. You don't have to nail her. Just see what happens. Man, way to be uptight.

HANK
Wait, did you just give good advice?

DEAN
I gotta go check the temperature in Hell.

DERMOTT
You can both blow me.
__________________

DR. ORPHEUS
We must draw him out. Draw him from Hell with Hell. Quickly! What is the worst thing that's ever happened to you? (Points at Jefferson Twilight.)

JEFFERSON TWILIGHT
Um...I saw my mom raped by blackulas. I was 10. She called my name. I just stood there.

DR. ORPHEUS
Um, wow. Wait, I can hear him. More ugliness?

MASTER BILLY QUIZBOY
Once I saw two homeless guys giving each other oral sex.

DR. ORPHEUS
Yes, he's closer! More like that.

THE ALCHEMIST
Okay, this is really gross. Once I was out of toilet paper, so I used cotton balls. So, you know, I'm wiping, and I think my finger kinda poked through the cotton. So I—and do not ask me why—I smell my finger to check.

JEFFERSON TWILIGHT
Gross. I see where this is going.

DR. ORPHEUS
Quickly, Al, he's so close!

THE ALCHEMIST
Okay, I bring it up to smell it, right. But somehow the cotton got stuck to my fingers, so when I smell my fingers, the cotton's getting stuck to my razor stubble. So then I have this shit-cotton all over my face!
__________________

JEFFERSON TWILIGHT
Hank, aren’t you just a little ashamed of your ignorance?

THE ALCHEMIST
Like just a little?

HANK
Yeah, constantly. (lol, Hank es lo máximo)
__________________

[Billy just finished operating on the OutRider’s head]
BILLY QUIZBOY
It's out! I did it. So, am I part of the Triad.

THE ALCHEMIST
Triad implies three. So...

BILLY QUIZBOY
All right. Then you guys have to pay my rather steep fee.

THE ALCHEMIST
Welcome to the Mystical Order of the Triad, Special Brother Billy!
__________________

THE MASTER [as Future Dean] 
OK Listen, I’m the Master. I’m like your dad’s omission boss, so let me give you some advice. Get on with your life. You think anyone can just walk into to your closet and see me?

TRIANA ORPHEUS
Never would of thought of that!

THE MASTER [as Future Dean] 
It’s a regular closet to anyone without the gift. I mean, you can start your training now, and seriously, you can make better money with this stuff than you can as the manager of the Gap.

TRIANA ORPHEUS
Yeah, my dad kinda wants me to go to art school.

THE MASTER [as Future Dean] 


Yeah, and get the world’s most useless diploma! Forget your dad, he’s just trying to save you from his life, not yours. Triana Orpheus, you should go live with your mother and begin your training to be a sorceress. It's your destiny! And it's way cheaper than art school!

REVIEW 
Ya me hacía falta el Gran Dr. Orpheus y su patota, y a ustedes también, admítanlo! Desde su comienzo con Torrid invocando las puertas del infierno que este capítulo se pinta legendario. Ah, y los Venture Brothers son nomas culpables de que tenga un fetiche por las mujeres con voz profunda, porque MIERDA que la ex de Orpheus está buenota. Pinche OutRider que se la llevó, me hizo sentir muy feliz cuando Torrid lo hace cagar (gran escena a todo esto).




Ejem... Cómo decía la Order of the Triad siempre es divertida de ver y me encanta que hayan recibido otro capítulo para ellos solos. Jefferson y el Alquimista tienen grandes momentos juntos, y cómo ejemplo de ello, spamme este review con sus diálogos (me falta al pobre Jefferson gritando FORGET HIM KILL ME KILL MEEEEEE que me hizo llorar de risa).

En la historia aledaña, los Venture Brothers tratando de levantar minas... Me da un poco de pena que Dean y Trianna parezca que no va a pasar... es decir, cuando Dean la conoció, la Ouija le dijo que ella iba a ser su amor verdadero... pero tras ver el horrendo futuro que les depararía juntos .. pues bueno... quizás sea mejor así...

Rating:





GO TEAM VENTURE!



Siguiente Capítulo: "Pinstripes & Poltergeists"

1 comentario:

  1. Cthulu!!!! no way josei!!! carajo cuando vi al bichote dije "esto se va poner feo" mas bien el enjendro mas jodido del ultramundo regresa y no hace devastaciones al mundo actual... Ya me hacia mucha falta el Dr O. y verlo con la triada entera y una pizca de Billy hizo mi dia! jejeje

    Los dialogos son la cosa mas increible del mundo como cague de risa con la adegnota de Al jajajaja limpiarse con algonodes y tener un accidente asi jajajaj es comedia pura, hasta al pobrecito de billy le dan mencion honoraria por hacer su home brain surgery... Jeferson con el poder de sacar a sus compadres del infierno muy pintuda historia. por otro lado lo q le deparaba a triana alado de Dean pues no se ve bien... asumo q el dean previo tenia mas chance q el ultimo clon q queda. Y si apoyo q la mujer de Orpheus estaba brutalmente sexy q tienen estos dudes q se consiguen grandes dibujantes... lastima q triana salio medio derpy. Ahora si estoy mas contento con los VB realmente desde el anterios cap se esta poniendo genial! GO TEAM VENTURE (^^)__V V__(^^)

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